So Rosie tells me this story right before we got on the air for the news, and I couldn't share it right then.


But it's so nuts that I had to get it up here for you to read this morning.

**CAUTION: it gets kind of graphic. **

An Idaho man didn't want to pay to get some much needed surgery, so he tried a do-it-yourself solution --  for his sinus problem.

John Martin Novack had been suffering from breathing problems that caused him to snore and lose sleep, but he couldn't afford a doctor. So instead, he decided to act as his own medical team.

First, he downed two entire bottles of vodka for anesthesia before attempting the procedure. And of course, he made the procedure up himself.

As described by a  police spokesman, "He stuck two straws up his nose and was attempting to break his own nose using a door that he would open rapidly and impact his face." When the fool's sister tried to stop him, he threatened her with a gun, so she called cops.

When they arrived, they found him on a bed, too drunk to get up.

He said he was going to urinate on the police, but defecated on himself instead.