You’re dying to go on jury duty
You spend most of your time emailing your resume out
You didn’t show up to the birthday party they threw for you
You have to take two Xanax before walking in the door
You cry yourself to sleep on Sunday night
You have sexual fantasies about being fired
There’s crime scene tape around your cubical
You can totally relate to Eliot Alderson on the show “Mr. Robot”
You get road rage pulling into the employee parking lot
Even your check doesn’t make you happy
You called in sick with a stubbed toe