Everyone has ideas or skills they feel confident about, but whether or not others feel the same comes down to the way we communicate. According to word experts Kathy and Ross Petras, the key to sounding confident is being assertive without being overly aggressive. And the way to do that is by avoiding these phrases they say make you sound weak or timid.
- “I’m sorry to ask this, but …” - Using apologetic words can downplay your request or make it sound like you’re putting yourself down. So instead of saying, “I’m sorry to bother you, but can you share the report you made for the team meeting?” leave off the intro and just ask, “Can you share the report you made for the team meeting?” And be sure to include a “thank you.”
- “I could do that” - To appear confident, use verbs that clearly state your intentions. Rather than saying “I could take on that project,” a stronger way to say it is “I will do that.”
- “You need to …” - Starting a request with a “you-based” statement can come across as controlling, which can be the result of fear or insecurity. Using “I-based” statements can convey what you want without seeming like an order. Turn “You need to get started on that project” into “I’d like you to get started on that project,” to lead with your own feelings or actions.
- “You always …” or “You never …” - Generalizations like this can make the other person get defensive, so you’re better off being specific. Stick with the issue at hand and describe the situation accurately. Instead of saying, “You ruined the presentation by being late!” try something like, “By coming in 10 minutes late, you made the presentation more difficult by distracting the audience.”
Source: CNBC