The Funniest Things People Have Heard Kids Say

We all know kids have no filter, and often what comes out of their mouths is truly hysterical. Well, now some people are sharing. Buzzfeed asked their readers to share some of the funniest things they’ve heard kids say, and they didn’t disappoint.

The funniest things people have heard kids say include:

  • "I once overheard a little girl sweetly tell her mother, 'Let’s pretend this stick is a magic wand, and when I wave it everything is beautiful...even you.'”
  • "I was out with my 7-year-old cousin when she said to me, 'I just smelled rotting flesh. Kinda reminded me of my brother's room.'"
  • "I was giving out candy samples when a little boy introduced himself as 'Michael' and proudly stated, 'At home I poop a lot.' I congratulated him and gave him a double sample."
  • "I saw a 4-year-old threaten his dad with, 'Daddy, I'm gonna climb in your nose hairs.'"
  • "At lunch, my dad jokingly asked my 3-year-old niece to pass him the giant platter of fruit, and she said, 'I’m sorry, I can’t, I’m too 3!'”
  • “My 5-year-old nephew had a cold and asked me for a drink. When I asked him what he wanted, he replied, 'Dr. Pepper because it's DOCTOR Pepper.'"
  • "I work at a summer camp and during fishing, if a kid catches a fish, they're allowed to kiss it (it’s gross but the kids love it). One day an 8-year-old said to his friend, 'I’ve kissed a lot of fish. I’m a player.'”
  • "The teacher was putting stickers on completed assignments, and when she got to my son, he said, 'No thanks. My work doesn’t need accessories.'”
  • "At snack time a child opened their juice box, took a giant sip, and went, 'Mmmmhmmm. Nice, cold alcohol.' All of us adults in the room turned to look at the child who said, 'My mom says that all the time when she drinks.'"


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